Wagon Wheel

Alright, I know what some of you might be thinking, but this is not a post about Old Crow Medicine Show (or Darius Rucker). If you want to hum the tune while reading, I understand.

I am currently deep in a training block for an upcoming jiu jitsu competition, including a fairly significant weight cut. So I have been thinking a lot about patterns, behaviors, character and change. And the image I conjured up was one of a wagon wheel rolling down a dusty path cut with deep, well-worn grooves. It’s an interwoven relationship: the path, the wheel, the grooves in the path…the journey of life and the paths we choose, the traveler, the patterns we develop. 

The path does not start with deep grooves. The path starts flat, smooth and untrodden. With each revolution of the wheel, the grooves deepen. Eventually, they become so deep that moving off the path requires significant effort. The grooves become ruts.

Why do we get stuck? With each revolution of the wheel, the rut gets deeper, the path becomes more comfortable, and deviating from it becomes harder. In life, these patterns aren't always easy to observe, especially if they lead to comfort or ease. They like to disguise themselves as helpful. They are insidious like that.

These ruts can include behavioral patterns, thoughts, and/or beliefs, for example:

• Unhealthy snacking and diet disguised as “earned” snacking due to regular exercise
• Weekend drinking that drains your ability to perform the next day, then creeps into weekdays
• Mindless scrolling that takes you mentally away from the present moment and those around you
• A short temper because you're cranky after hitting the snooze button instead of hitting a workout
• Diminished energy as a result of ignoring the value of rest days

These are all personal negative patterns I have addressed. Not to say I have completely resolved all of them. It’s a daily endeavor. And this list can seem trivial compared with far more destructive patterns and behaviors, so I am not making light of those.

However, the process of change is the same across the spectrum of patterns. The process of getting stuck in the rut and getting out of it is the same. Some of the most challenging patterns I have addressed lately are ones I told myself were daily routines in service of self-improvement. I called them discipline.

A quote I recently encountered that I love says, “The curse of discipline is that every day looks the same. But for the undisciplined, every year looks the same.” While that quote is fire, discipline doesn't absolve us from honestly assessing the routines we repeat every day.

For example, I ignored rest days, but after an honest rest day, or even two, I feel so much fresher when I get back to it. Not to mention, the extra hour of sleep makes me less cranky throughout the day. I’ve been scrolling IG too often, so I force myself to not even use the app when my kids are awake, which is most of the day. Or, when contemplating my recent weight cut, I downloaded my diet habits to ChatGPT and it asked if I really need to douse my Greek yogurt with ⅓ a cup of honey…a ton of hidden calories I had told myself I had “earned.”

Again, one revolution at a time, the groove becomes a rut and changing course becomes harder.

Thankfully, we are not 18th-century wagons. We have the agency to make adjustments and cut a new path, an improved and healthier path. But with that agency comes accountability. We also have to acknowledge our role in creating the rut.

Change requires an honest assessment of the pattern we have developed. Even just acknowledging the negative pattern and the need to change is a step in the right direction. Oftentimes in the pursuit of a goal, that honest assessment is necessary, and it might even require different behaviors. You have to be willing to make those changes, because a path that served you at one point may not be the path that gets you where you want to go next.  

Simple, not easy. 

Accountability comes in many forms, but the change needs to be internally motivated. Otherwise, it is easy to fall back into the same well-worn grooves. And the discomfort of that change stings much less than not being able to rise to meet the moment you are pursuing. 

Personal improvement is not reserved just for becoming faster or stronger. It is the pursuit of a sound mind and a sound body, and being intentional about the path we are cutting with each revolution of the wheel.